Reading Isaiah as Christian Scripture

Dating Tips for single PhDs in Biblical Studies

Posted in Dating tips for a single PhD, Humor by Bacho on March 30, 2011

This is a tip #3.  It is kind of different.  You are a PhD student in Biblical studies who is nearing the end of this academic hazing.  Your research on scented symbols in the Song of Songs has been consuming all of your time.  You can hardly smell yourself.  No time for social exploits.  Yet you do not want to appear as a person devoid of romantic interludes in the company of your SBL friends.  What do you do?  You need to check out the CLOUD GIRLFRIEND.  The new service allows you to create the perfect girlfriend.  You know, the one who will write on your Facebook wall in Ugarit, follow your tweets about the Old Assyrian cuneiform and Sumerian orthography, and otherwise make her ghostly presence evident through social media.  According to the site, here is how it works: “Step 1: Define your perfect girlfriend. Step 2: We bring her into existence. Step 3: Connect and interact with her publicly on your favorite social network. Step 4: Enjoy a public long distance relationship with your perfect girl.”

So if you are not yet ready to admit to your friends that you do not have a significant other due to the all-consuming PhD research project, you can do better than just put on your Facebook relationship status “Complicated”.  Go ahead give the Cloud Girlfriend a try.  But also remember Walker Percy who said, “You can get all As and still flunk life.”  So go ahead and get that scented research done.

Dating Tips for single PhDs in Biblical Studies

Posted in Dating tips for a single PhD, Humor by Bacho on March 2, 2011

So you are a single PhD trying to mingle at SBL in order to meet that special someone.  Here is a tip #2: you need to smell good.  Put away your old aftershave.  Thanks to the Telegraph, here are some fragrances that will guarantee to make you stand out:

10.‘Play Doh’ fragrance:
Demeter’s Play-Doh Fragrance is definitely different… you can get scents of Earthworm and Mushroom.

09.’Dirt’ perfume:
You can now smell of soil, too. Demeter’s Fragrance Library has released a ‘Dirt’ fragrance.

08.’Gin & Tonic’ perfume:
Some people just love Gin & Tonic. Others love it so much they’d spray it on themselves every day just to get that wonderfully alcoholic whiff all the time. That is why Demeter produced a Gin & Tonic fragrance into their ‘Happy Hour collection’

07.Republic perfume, the ‘political fragrance’:
American politics is a keen subject for many, some people might just get the common urge to smell like a politician. No fear, the Republic Fragrance is here. It is a complex fragrance blend that stands for conservative values, love of country, and a strong family unit. If this doesn’t appeal to your political values, you can purchase the Democrat and Independent scents too.

06.Biotherm Homme Force:
Infused with spring water scents and absinthe. Absinthe is not your typical aftershave ingredient.

05.Star Trek aftershave:
“Tiberius” is named after the William Shatner character Caption James Tiberius Kirk, and is a spicy scent with citron zest and black pepper.

04.Stilton cheese perfume:
If you’re a vegetarian, however, you can have a nice cheese fragrance. Released by Stilton Cheeses, it smells like wonderfully mature blue stilton. If you like to eat it, why can’t you smell of it?

03.Bacon oil scent:
The plain smell of bacon. To be purchased from naturesgardencandles.com

02.An aftershave made from cow urine by Gou Brands Private:
The latest in a line of products made from bovine waste to be launched in India.

01.Burger King fragrance:
The fast food giant Burger King is launching a men’s body spray known as “Flame”. It declares to be a “scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat.”

Dating Tips for single PhDs in Biblical Studies

Posted in Dating tips for a single PhD, Humor by Bacho on February 18, 2011

So you are single and working on your PhD in biblical studies.  How do you find that special someone who shares your passion for the epexegetical vav, Merneptah Stele, or the the energetic nun?  No fear.  Here is a new series of posts designed just for you…

Here is a tip #1:  Next time you are at the regional or national SBL, try these fabulous conversation starters on the topic of the Dead Sea scrolls.  Preface each factual statement with a phrase, “Have you ever noticed that…”:

-Initially, many of the Dead Sea Scrolls didn’t look like scrolls, but like a jigsaw puzzle. Scholars pieced together over 100,000 fragments of papyrus—a particularly impressive accomplishment when considering that most of the pieces were missing.

[Follow up this fabulous hook with a personal question, “I just got a 1000 piece Dead Sea Scroll Puzzle.  Do you want to help me put it together sometime?”]

-Among the texts in the scrolls are some Thanksgiving psalms, a couple rocking hymns, and a divinely dictated battle plan. They also contain psalms attributed to King David and a host of sacred writings not found in the Hebrew Bible.

[Follow up this tantalizing hook with a personal question, “Would you like to read some of these psalms out loud with me sometime?]

-Other than paragraph indentations the scrolls have no punctuation absolutely none which as you can imagine makes for difficult reading.

[Follow up this stunning hook with a personal question, “I would gladly insert all the missing punctuation marks for you.  When can I drop off a copy for you?”]

HINT: Check out the full article that will give you much more on the Dead Sea Scrolls to beef up your dating prospects.